time time time

father time, you bastard. i always think about time. how i...use it, fear it, waste it and most importantly value it. was it a waste of time? was it time well spent?

different times are worth different amounts. 10 minutes at 5AM in the morning is worth more than 10 minutes at 5PM. i was at discovery kingdom with derek about a month ago, and we were talking about flash passes, which basically lets you cut in every line. i asked him how much that's worth to him while waiting in line for Medusa (probably a 30-45 minute wait). he said he wouldn't pay anything for it, so i asked him "so you wouldn't pay a dollar to go on the ride right now? and he said "ok, yeah a dollar" i ended up getting to $5 or so until he said no. that was just one ride, but if you buy it, you can use it the whole day. i wish i found out how much it actually was, but i mean. i, personally, value that flash pass pretty high. first, because i'm impatient. and i constantly think to myself how much time is worth to me. when i was in vegas with russ greg and jt. we each paid $25 to cut in line at XS at the Wynn. i know i'm pretty careless sometimes, but i probably would have spent up to $50 just to cut in line. 1 hour during "club rush hour" is worth a lot. i dont want to wait in some dumb-fuck line with a bunch of ansty people.

three weeks ago, i learned that my last relationship had ended a different way than what i had previously thought. no lie, until 3 weeks ago, when a very good friend told me what happened, i had this idea that everything was on the up and up. little did i know, it probably wasn't. i was upset, frustrated, angry. i feel like a few of my friends were more upset than i was, and i really appreciate that, i really really do. but it's all good. i got over it, i know that my time is valuable. and theres no way i'm wasting time (value) being angry, frustrated, spiteful toward anyone. it's not worth it. i'm not letting anyone or anything waste my time. i'm going to spend time the way i want to spend it. and spending time being angry/upset is simply a waste.

i have other things to do. and another thing, when i graduated last year, almost exactly a year ago, i had this picture in my head of what the future looked like. i'll call her Sara. we had a relationship, i thought it would end up a certain way, but it didn't. but that's life, and when i look at where i am with everything, i feel extremely fortunate to live in a new city and have a job that really interests and challenges me. but to be honest, i know for a fact that if it had not been for sara, i would not be where i am today. no way. i was an accounting major, but never really enjoyed it that much, it was just something that i was OK at. but sara encouraged me to look into day trading as a profession. i never really told anyone that i even had an interest in it, i always just told people that i'll go the accounting way, which is cool, but i know i didn't love it. i specifically remember a conversation, where sara told me that i should work with my cousin in San francisco. i bet unders, and said "nah, that'll never happen". rambling rambling

i had heard that lots of poker players were very good day traders. it interested me, and after i graduated college, i bought my first "day trading for dummies" book. i finished the book that summer. eventually in december, my parents wanted me to take CPA classes. i interviewed with a financial planner, and he never called me back. cool. even in the fall of my senior year in college, i interviewed for 2 accounting firms, no job. everything happened for a reason. long story short, i job shadowed my cousin, learned how to use the alarm clock function on my iphone from my dad. and here i am. maybe i last only another month before i go crazy with some facebook stock (facebook stock is coming, and it's gonna be madness) and go broke. maybe i find out trading is not for me 8 months down the line. but right now, this is what i'm supposed to be doing. this is what i love doing, and i know it had something to do with sara. no regrets. if i had the opportunity to do college over, i wouldn't change anything. nothing. so no it didn't end up the way i had imagined. but what would have happened if i got one of those accounting jobs? what would happen if sara and i never crossed paths? scary to think. crazy how life changes. and not to sound cheesy, but spending time with family and quality friends is alwaysss time well spent. maybe this is all bull shit, maybe it's not? maybe this is just what i WANT to think. maybe i'm just being crazy naive. maybe it's EXACTLY how i really feel? who knows, i dont, rambling rambling

the cast of jersey shore said it best, "do you bro". i've got no hard feelings toward anyone. you do you, i'll do me. why waste time. i dont want to remember 2011 as the year after college. i want to remember 2011 as the year i moved to san francisco and the year i bet-raped russell (warriors winning a title in 9 years? under). i dont have time to waste. like the author from the last lecture said, 'time is all we have, and one day you may find that you have less than you think.' time is too valuable. i'm not saying i never waste it, i alwaysssss do. but i try my hardest not to. and yes, watching youtube videos of sports cards being opened on a daily basis is time well spent. random random. the puppy who lost his wayy