3g

got the new iphone 4s last week. the phone is good, whatever. but i just can't believe how fast 3g is. i've been on the edge network for so damn long. it's sooooo fast, like having legit internet wherever you go. crazyy. wtf, how come no one told me how legit 3g is? i have a feeling i'm going to upgrade to 4g when everyone else is on 5g.

damn it, i bought another watch. i need to stop. ok, no more watches for at least 6 months, unless its super nasty. and everyone knows what a super nasty watch looks like. ok here's the plan, if i buy a watch in the next 6 months, the punishment is that i can't buy a watch until 2013. does that make sense, yea it does

i rarely listen to fm radio, but when i did the other day, a girl called in to give a "shout-out" to her bf. huh? people still call in to radio stations to give shout-outs? what are the legit odds that the "bf" is even listening to the radio? is that "cute"? he's not listening, no way. but seriously, radio stations must be struggling. they make all of their money on advertisements. but if you were a business, in 2011, the last place you'd look to advertise is on the radio. it's like newspaper classifieds. with free music streaming popping up everywhere, i'd be scared if i was a radio station. and uh oh, google's music service is coming

ouch. netflix stock at $300 2 months ago. hit $79 this week. rape

Experiment

Results to come

instagram- gmiz

Dirty

Sometimes I shock myself at how dirty I keep my room.

tragic

i can't wait til thursday. i need a new bed. and on thursday i plan to go to mancini's sleepworld to look/buy one. ever since i got into pawn stars, i sort of love to negotiate. when i watch pawn stars or storage wars, i always criticize people's negotiating skills. people get raped in the negotiations. it kills me. i can't wait to negotiate my bed purchase. i want a semi-nice to nice one. so it won't be exactly cheap. and i know in this equation: me and the salesman. that i have all the power, allofIT. i'm his commission, he knows it, and i know it. he's going to get raped. toomuch

i can't wait. let's say we negotiate for awhile and i finally get the rape-deal i was looking for. and i hand over my credit card. but then i quickly say "wait, wait, i'll agree to buy the bed from you, but before that, do 5 push-ups and 5 jumping jacks.
he has to say OK, he's losing his commission if he says wtf. i have the power

sneeezy

do rappers sneeze? i just can't picture eminem with his d-12 homies letting out a big sneeze. i just don't see it. you can't look cool while sneezing, it's impossible. when i sneeze, i let it all out. i'll never forget this: one time while at home, russ loudly sneezes, but covers his mouth. i think i told him "wow, that was loud" but didn't think anything of it, but then he waves to me with his sneeze hand, and there's a handful of mucus. swaggy

but seriously, you can't sneeze with swag. it just doesn't happen. i don't think drake sneezes. kanye, no. 50 cent definitely doesn't sneeze.

if 50 cent were ever to sneeze in front of his entourage. what does he do? does he say "ay, thas my bad guys". um, do rappers ever blow their noses? i don't think so. there's no way that 50cent asks one of security guards for a tissue. that'd be a youtube hit btw, "50cent blowing his nose" .that'd be awesome, seeing FITY just blowing like crazy then saying swaggerly "got dem allergies, man"

DIBBS

this is it, this THE ONE. it's my F5 tornado. i've watched this video 42 times. and one time, i watched it 7 times in a row, in a row! super disgusting. just nasty. i'd do some bad things to get this watch.

i had already made a serious connection to this watch. this was going to be it, this was going to be the last watch that i ever bought. then i did a little research and find out that it costs a cool $89,000. i'd seriously pay $20 just to try it on and play around with it for 10 minutes.

in time

most interesting idea ever. a whole movie about the value of time? so interesting. living in a world where time is actual money. live forever or die trying. the poor die young, the rich live forever. coolest idea ever. instead of people living for money, people are living to earn more time.

skinny n

my new theory. all guys with both ears pierced have swagger. there's not a guy with both ears pierced that doesn't have swagger. i'm not saying all guys with swagger have their ears pierced. but what i am saying is that you can't have your ears pierced and NOT have swagger.

Swag Theory: Guys with both ears pierced have swagger.

i don't know exactly how it works, but i assume it's like putting on the Yankee pinstripes for the first time. or like putting on the golden state warriors uniform for the first time, same thing. it changes you. the swagger is guaranteed.
according to phil, i have no swagger. i'm thinking of doing an experiment. i get my ears pierced, go out, and see if the swag comes out. girls won't know how to react at first. hey, look at that full japanese guy over there, he looks sort of quiet and reserved, but look, his ears are pierced, i'm confused.
hella swaggy, gotcha bitch

keep it up

i'm embarrassed, i'm embarrassed for my generation. bassie buys a new macbook laptop, i ask her how she likes it, she says that she likes everything about it, except for the fact that the screen is too dark. she asks me if i know how to make the screen brighter. i tell her no, but she should just google it. she says "i'm too lazy", as she is on facebook and watching jerseyliciious. i lost it, that's it, i'm embarrassed for my generation. fucked, since jump street.



i miss poker. there's bodog, but the damn software is unbelievably bad. i want pokerssss. i want to 4-table $30 husngs and drop f-bombs and throw pens at my walls when fuckers hit their flush draws. i miss watching high stakes poker. this is my favorite televised poker hand of all time. it just shows how superior durrrr is to pretty much everyone else but ivey. if i'm barry, i'm folding on the flop, easy. if i'm peter, i'm folding on the turn, easy. the best part about this hand, is when durrrr makes the side bet with doyle. he knowsss that peter had the best hand. so sick.

flip it open, flip it closed

within 5 blocks of my place, there's probably 20 chinese restaurants. there's no way they can all stay in business if they're 100% on the up-and-up. i always wonder, how many of those restaurants are involved in illegal activity. like Rush Hour, what percentage of chinese restaurants in san francisco have a juntao running around buying c4 and kidnapping little asian girls. it has to be a non zero percentage. i want to knowww

i walked by a "shoe repair" shop the other day. emphasis on the quotation marks. what does a broken shoe look like? i've never had a broken shoe accident. i don't think i know anyone that had broken a shoe before. who actually says "oh, i'm busy today, my shoes broke last night, gotta take them to the shop to get repaired". ok, let's just say one day i happen to break one of my shoes, there's no way i'm going to get it fixed, i'm just buying another pair. let's say there are people that break their shoes, and actually go to a "shoe repair" place, and pays to get it fixed. how can the business stay in business off of those weirdos alone? it's impossible. therefore, i'm thinking that all shoe repairs are involved in some illegal activity. it's the perfect cover business. i've watched Weeds, i watch intervention, there has to be some dirty shizz going on in the back of shoe repairs shops.

everything has germs on it. nothing is clean. i was on my morning bus ride to work, and some bum-type-looking guy's finger was slightly bleeding. he first sucked his finger, then he wiped his slightly bloody finger on the seat next to him. yum. everything is dirty. it's crazy. how many people wash their hands 100% of the time after each time they use the restroom? i'm afraid to guess. and another thing, beer pong. why do some people think that sink water disinfects the dirty ass balls. like when the ball is on the ground, and you pick it up, and you see hair on it. everyone says "oh gross", but all you do is dump it in the "water cup" and bam, no problem. hella clean.