fart sounds

i promise this isn't about me, just thought it was funny.
my friend "sam" goes on a date with a girl. he wants to show his friend a picture. creeps on her instagram, he doesn't "follow" her, but she's not private, so fair game. sam shows his friend a picture of the date in a slutty dress. the friend doesn't have instagram, but is an iphone user. he double taps to try and zoom, he "likes" the picture. panic. insta un-like.

slutty dress. double tap to zoom. accidental "like". panic
every other week, i say this "dude, look at this picture (on instagram), but be careful, do not double tap" i'm kidding

i've noticed, that in text and g-chat, i use "nah". but i never actually say "nah". this is interesting.

my parent's anniversary is July 10th, i got this.

I want to see a documentary on ticket scalpers. i always find it very interesting. i still don't quite understand how they make money. but i assume most do, so how much do they best make? i want to see and hear the negotiations. it's interesting because time means everything. as game time approaches, the value of the tickets decreases every second. how does that affect the negotiations? do the scalpers work together?

kobye

you chinese?

every other month, someone asks me "you chinese?" or "you korean?". like tonight, i was buying beer. the old chinese man asks me "you chinese?". i said no, i'm japanese. he said oh, and that was that, i handed him my credit card. but after the transaction, i started to think. what if i lied and said yes, i'm chinese.

  if i lie, i assume that there is no way he can verify

scenario a: i tell him i'm japanese, i pay for my beer, move on

scenario b: i lie and tell him i'm chinese, (assume there is no way he can verify), and maybe make a new friend? get a discount? get future discounts?

am i missing something? there's no downside. only upside

50/50 flips

these should be easy questions. but a few people have got one or both wrong.

best tom hanks movie?
Big.

best robin williams movie?
Mrs. Doubtfire.

just for fun, best jim carey movie?
Liar Liar and it's not close.

and best adam sandller movie?
big daddy and it's somewhat close. can't get mad if you say happy gilmore. billy madison is clear 3rd.

ok, the tough one. best movie: shawshank redemption or good will hunting?
i think you have to go shawshank redemption here. i don't feel comfortable picking one over the other. they're both sooo nasty. i wonder if they switched the girl in GWH with kate beckinsale, does that push it over the top? hm, probably not, but interesting thought, yes? ok. yep, just thought about it again, i'm going shawshank.

couple memorable quotes recently.
"why can't nice guys smash dimes?"

"don't bring sand to the beach"
-mandy said this when trying to explain why you shouldn't bring girls you're "sort of talking to" when you go out to a club