2011 main event winner, paul pierce

i’m not a huge fan of my current landlord. she’s around the house all the time during the day (there's been lots of remodeling), and she’s always bugging all of the tenants to keep it clean. i’m never around during the day, so i don’t hate her as much as the others. but out of the 5 tenants, zero are renewing their lease. hate. but it’s interesting, the landlord has deposits (1 month's rent) for all of us, which basically means she owns us. if she calls me a punkass bitch to my face, what can i say? if i tell her she’s ugly and her english sucks, then i can kiss 100% of my deposit goodbye. is that worth $630 dollars to me? no way.

but then wait, what if she’s actually super badass. what if she’s on phil ivey’s level, what if she is trying to annoy all of us, hoping that we panic and call her ugly, then she has justification to keep our deposits. if you think about it, it's borderline genius, mind-rape at its best. it’s like if deshawn stevenson got inside KOBEEE’S head. if deshawn gets KOBEEE to swing at him, and they both get ejected, deshawn Stevenson wins. btw, no one gets inside KOBEEE’S head, but KOBEEE. ok, done with the kobe talk.
the plan. bite my tongue, collect the deposit, move out, and vandalize. I WIN.