i just read the bill simmons column featured in the rolling stones. awesome
http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/bill-simmons-big-score-20140429

i learned a couple things. 

he has a stepdad, a source estimates that his salary from espn is around 5 million, and his wife's name is kari. 

i don't think people understand how much of a simmons fanboy i am. i will blindly agree and follow him. blindly. if he said he hates panda express and chipotle. i'd say i  absolutely agree, they're both disgusting.

i don't know if it's just me, but jalen rose has been slightly more annoying then in the past. i had to stop listening to his podcast, because it just started to irritate me. bottom line, i think he has great stories, very entertaining stories about his nba career. but as an "nba analyst", he's horse shit. he says all the safe things, he likes everyone, doesn't tell me anything i don't know.

i remember the last podcast i listened to, it was a couple months ago. he was talking about a prediction that he got right and he said something like "didn't i predict this exact outcome 3 months ago on this very podcast. did i not?? i said...3 months ago, on this very podcast. that so-and-so would lead his team to the playoffs...."

it's like, awesome dude, you got a prediction right. you're an "nba analyst", you are supposed to get a prediction right here and there, ACT LIKE YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE. ffs

and how about his preseason MJ prediction. HE SAID HE THINKS THAT MJ WILL COME BACK TO PLAY FOR THE BOBCATS THIS SEASON. what???? he actually said this!!!!!!!!

i'm a hater and i know that. i think it's because i'm a simmons fanboy. so when they are together, i understand that they have to slightly disagree with each other. but as i'm watching it,  all i'm thinking is "jalen you're wrong, bill is right. jalen you're wrong, bill is right. jalen you're wrong, bill is right" the whole time

ok i'm done

when you're in high school or college, and there's a big test or midterm, when the tests get handed back, and you see your score. you can ONLY ask how other people did if you got a shitty score. if you got a good score, you CAN'T ask what other people did. that's just an asshole move. 

if the tests get handed back, and you get an "A", 96%. then you can't ask what other people got. 

but if you get back a "D", 64%, then you have every right to say "fuckkkkk me, i'm such an idiot". then you can ask how other people did. and if someone says "i got a 96%", then you have every right to say "stop bragging you dickhead"

i feel like this applies to other aspects of life. if you do something really well, then you shouldn't outright talk about it. but if you suck at something, then it's OK and slightly funny to ask about it

it bugs me when people exaggerate injuries. like, when someone gets hurt, and they exaggerate exactly how much it hurts, annoying. kids get a free pass. i was a younger brother , so i understand what it takes to survive. if derek even pretended to hit me, i'd yell "ouch. mom. derek hit me..." 

 i hate when basketball players fall to the ground, and look to be in extreme pain, then get up, smile and shoot their free throws. just generally speaking, i hate when someone experiences level 6-pain, but they act like it's level 8-pain. why not try and be tough. if you experience level 7-pain, why not try and be tough and make it look like it's only level 5-pain. 

)

hey you guys are matching

#3

when i'm waiting for the muni or bart. and i see someone running alongside the train so they don't miss it, all i can think in my head is to say "you need to slow down, you're running like 2 feet away from falling into the tracks, and then what? tripping is so easy to do. all it takes is for you to trip one time, fall a little to the right, and you're on the tracks, boom. done. just walk please"

 i'm getting old..

1. the years are all blending together. 2011 2012 and 2013 all sort of feel the same. if something happened in the past 3 years, i can't quite tell if it was 2011, 2012 stuff, or 2013 crap.  but i heard it gets easier when you turn 26. right? 

2. i was at our basketball practice yesterday and i asked one of the kids where he was born. he said he was born in the Philippines. I said Oh shit, cool. then he said "yeah, in 2005". I was like whoaaaaaa.

i couldn't believe it, he was born in 2005. 2005! these young kids are born in twothousand and five. they weren't even born when Lebron was a rookie. so crazyyyy. what was i doing in 2005? driving around tracy in my jimmy listening to hoobastank and taking back sunday.

=my mom's birthday is coming up, don't forget don't forget

i started to read a new book, The Power of Habit, Why we do what we do in life and business.
i need to read moreeeeeeeee. i'm going to bring back the punishment bet. let's see, so if i do not finish this book by the end of March, then I have to go to the bank, withdraw 5 onehundred dollar bills, and leave them as tips in 5 random coffee shops not named Starbucks. i'm serious. end of march. booked
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i just caught up on HBO's true detective. it's solid
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i really really enjoy using double negatives. i feel like when you use a double negative the right way, it has so much more meaning. like if you're talking about going to a r&b concert and trying to convince someone it'll be fun. saying "there's no way you're not going to have a great time" is so much stronger then saying "it's going to be fun. trust me"

however, if you're super good at life like heisman trophy winner, jameis winston, you can use triple negatives. fucker tweeted this after the 9ers vs. seahawks game

Everybody gone talk bout @RSherman_25 interview but that's cause don't nobody don't wanna listen to what's #real they want a script.     -jameis winston
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i'm not sure if it's just me or not. but i seriously get a little star struck when i meet someone who went to yale, harvard, or stanford... like, if that ever comes up, my reaction is ALWYAYS "oh shit, wow". and then i ask some  stupid fanboy question like "wow, that's crazy. so what's it like? is everyone in your class a super genius?"




this is so funny. girls are not crazy at all. zero percent crazy. ZPC