thirstyyy

I felt like a super genius for the first time in a long time. I was out at lunch with 2 of my co-workers at a Mexican restaurant. We ordered our food and starting eating blah blah. Then, a young couple sits down beside us and orders food and shows the waitress a piece of paper. I assume it was a daily deal, so I whipped out my phone, opened up the groupon app, found an $8 for $15 deal for the place we were currently at. I instantly bought it and showed our waitress, bam. It felt really really good, like really good. I just created $7 of value. I just stole $7 from someone, if that’s not gangsterrr…

 

kid at 1:10 mark- that sort of crying is obnoxious, come on. 

homie at 1:50 - why does homie have muscles? if he came charging at me swinging, i feel like i'd have to swing back in self-defense

girls at 3:07 - girls are crazy

girls at 3:55 - um, girls are crazy. she looks 13

4:17- she killed me, like deaddd

i know i blogged about this last year, but whatever. this is the new halloween kimmel prank.

like i said last time, i cannot wait to do this. it's something like +350 that my kid has a "good reaction" and -400 that my kid has  "bad reaction"

when i first saw the video, i sent it to everyone i was talking to on gchat. and then i was asked "are you going to do this to your kid every year?"

i typed "lol yes" but then it hit me. delete delete delete...

ok, so the first time i do this, of course the kid will fall for it and blah blah blah. but! if i do it the next year, and the kid falls for it again. wouldn't that be a concern? i mean, i'd be legit sad if i prank my kid the exact same way 2 years in a row. but now that i think of it, i HAAAAVE to do it twice now just to see what happens.  HOPEFULLY my kid is gangster and tells me i'm lame for doing it the 2nd time

the boom

for the past several months, i wanted to start coaching youth basketball. i applied at the Tenderloin boys and girls club in san francisco. about a month ago, i got a call saying a position was open if i wanted it. i was really excited, it's boys basketball, ages 6-8. i was really excited until i thought about how and what i would do in practice. i thought about when i was younger and played in my first organized basketball team. one of the first things i remember learning, left handed lay-ups!

when i was like 7 or 8 years old, i learned how to do one because our coach made us. then i just sorta stopped, since i was about 12 til now, i only do right-handed lay-ups, even in a pregame lay up drill. i do this awkward right handed lay up (coming from the left side). i was legitimately concerned, i knew i had to teach them a left-handed lay up, but i also knew that i cannot do a left handed lay-up at 75% game speed

just thinking about it. if i showed up to the first practice unprepared, and some punkass kid says "i bet you can't even do a left-handed lay up, go ahead, show us a left handed lay up at 80% game speed." i would have been effed. i would have lost the team right there.

well, i did go to the gym before the first practice, just to get some reps (left hand lay-ups) in. cool story

again

i saw Taken2, and it was pretty bad. the theater was laughing at how corny it was

i'm splitting a fantasy football pickem league with kyle. basically, you pick the winner of each NFL game against the spread and assign confidence points to each game. rank the games 1-15. with 1 being the least confident and 15 being the most confident. it was his turn to pick this week, and i told him that 49ers -7 was an absolute lock.

he asked if i was sure? i said yes, then i said nah, do whatever you want, i don't want to hurt the team. then i said something like can you tell that i don't like to take the last shot in sports? he asked if i ever had taken the last shot before.

i slightly remember 2 times.

the first. little league baseball team. all i remember was my team was down, and i was up to bat with 2 outs. i'm 95% sure we were playing scott's blue jays team. i think a runner was on base. and short story short, i made the last out. i was upset blah blah blah, everything was ok, i was fine. but when we shook the other team's hands, i started to tear up. i couldn't believe it. i'm 90% sure this actually happened, and wasn't just a bad dream

the second time was in basketball with the stockton guys. i remember we were down by 1 or 2 with like 9 seconds left. we didn't call a time out for whatever reason so there was no play drawn up. i SPECIFICALLY remember  inbounding the ball because i didn't want to take the last shot. after all, i'm grant "i shoot 29% from the field when no one is around me" mizuno. i'm 80% sure i inbounded the ball to takahashi, and he instantlyyyyy passes it right back to me. OHFUCK. short story short, i kind of drive/throw a shot up and it gets blocked. game over

that's right

there's an NFL game every thursday night, on the NFL network channel. i don't get the NFL network channel. that is a problem.

scottmizuno.com is a genius and told me to tell comcast that i'm thinking of switching my cable service to DirecTV unless i get the NFL network channel for free. then i should be able to get it. scott told me that instead of calling, i can use livechat so i sound more convincing.

it worked. i threatened to switch to DirecTV unless i get the NFL network for free, he said something like no problem. i was feeling frisky, and said "i'm going to need the NBA channel for free too". i'm 100% sure i would never say this over the phone. i thought it was pretty gangster..this time he said "alright". i could have asked for more, but i didn't. maybe next time. thinking about it now, after he said "alright", i should've said "thaaaaaaaat's right beeeeeytch"

it's 2012

i feel like you can say "it's 2012" before or after any statement, and it just sorta makes sense. in a debate, you can use it when you don't know exactly what to say.

like...
do you think the warriors are going to make the playoffs?
-it's 2012, of coooourse the Warriors are going to make the playoffs!

what do you want to eat for dinner?
-dude, let's get some sushi, it's 2012!!

what's new with so-and-so?
-i'm not really sure, but it's 2012, so who knows.

dumbass melky cabrera
-i know, how are you going to get caught using performance enhancing drugs, it's 2012!!

you have a girlfriend yet?
-No, it's 2012.

upshit

proof that lyrics are overrated. have a bet with derek. on janruary 1st, 2013, i have over 200 million views. derek has the under. loser treats the winner to a niceish dinner. i think i'm the easy favorite. the song is going to hit it's PEAK in 2 days. and it's already at 96million, i have 3 months? just checked the updated odds, the over of 200million views is -140. so there. VALUE