I was grocery shopping last week and I overheard this little kid (looked probably 9ish if I had to set the line) saying “but you owe me” to his mom. If I ever have kids, I’m 90% sure I’m going to be a no-bullshit strict/mean dad, because if my son said that to me I’m saying “BITCH, I DON’T OWE YOU SHIT”
i like watches, i like watches, i like watchesI have a theory, it could be complete bull shit, but it may be true. It’s very simple, when referring to the internet. Old people say “internet” and young people say “online”. By old, I mean over 35 years old.
Old person: I looked up restaurants for the birthday party on the internet.
Young person: I bought tickets to the concert online.
&&Thanks for the ‘super GLGL’ greg, but I played extremely horribly and was out less than an hour into the tournament. The tourney was guaranteed to have a prize pool of 5 million, but actually had a prize pool of something ridiculous like 12 mil. The top 9 were all guaranteed 263k or something with first place getting 1.4 mil! Think about that again, a $215 online poker tournament, first place was 1.4 million and a new lambo! Pokerstars is taking over the world. I just heard that the guy that came in 6th place and made $518k will be disqualified because it turned out that he was only 17 years old. ouch
&&This happened 3 weeks ago. It was raining in the morning, so I decided to drive closer to the Bart Station. I couldn’t find street parking near the Bart station so I drove around looking for parking. I drove for about 5 mins (which is a long time when you need to make a train at a specific time) and found this semi-small open spot. I said eff it, and parked there. When I got out, I saw that I was blocking the driveway by 15 inches at most. I actually thought to myself that, yes I’m blocking the drive way by 12 inches, but a car can still get in and out fa sho. So I get to bart, go to work, and everything is fine. After work, I walk back to where I parked my car, and it’s not there. I was 100% sure that this was the place where I parked. I immediately think my car is stolen. I run up and down the street to make sure it’s somewhere else by chance. I’m pretty much hysterical at this point, I don’t know what to do, my car, MY CAR IS STOLEN. I dropped probably 50 f-bombs. I’m thinking it couldn’t have gotten towed, no way. So, I call 911 and tell them that either my car was stolen or it got towed, then they transfer me to some other department. They asked for my license plate number, and of course I don’t know that shit. (I know it now, 5zke514)They then asked for my name and address that the car is registered under, then before I hear if it was towed or not, I lose service. WTF (at&t sucks), I have to call 911 again?
so I call 911 again, give my “car stolen or towed” schpielll?, get transferred, and blah blah blah, they finally tell me that my car was towed. Whew, I guess that was good news. So they give me the number to the place where my car is at. It’s fucking downtown near where I work. They told me it would cost $437 to get the car out, and there was an extra charge for 4-hour storage. LOL effff me. I wrote the most painful check I’ve ever had to write. I finally see my car, and there’s another white piece of paper on the window. It’s some sort of city ticket for another $90, cool bro. So, in the first month of living in San Francisco, I nearly paid an entire months’ rent just on parking tickets/fees. I’m over it now, I just pretended that I donated money to the beautiful city of San Francisco. And when that didn’t work, I just imagined I had a bad poker session. And when that didn’t help, I just vandalized the house whose drive way I was blocking. Just kidding. But seriously I did.
&&I don't know how i forget this, but every 2 years or so, i remember that one of my favorite movies is Nothing to Lose with Martin Lawrence and Tim Robbins. It is hilarious, I remember always going to Blockbuster with my mom and asking if I could rent it. I watched it on youtube and wow, still amazing.
&&last weekend was my mom's birthday. the four of us and derek's gf angela went to this japanese place and my parents both ended up doing a sake bomb. it was pretty hilarious. the next day i asked my mom how she liked the sake bomb, and she said "it made my face warm, but at least i didn't have a headache in the morning." lol her. she claims she wasn't much of a drinker in her prime, but it sure looked like she knew what she was doing
@gmizzz
