Tuesday, March 29, 2011
just kids
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
you used to be mel clark?
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
online theory
I have a theory, it could be complete bull shit, but it may be true. It’s very simple, when referring to the internet. Old people say “internet” and young people say “online”. By old, I mean over 35 years old.
Old person: I looked up restaurants for the birthday party on the internet.
Young person: I bought tickets to the concert online.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
let the dogs out
&&Thanks for the ‘super GLGL’ greg, but I played extremely horribly and was out less than an hour into the tournament. The tourney was guaranteed to have a prize pool of 5 million, but actually had a prize pool of something ridiculous like 12 mil. The top 9 were all guaranteed 263k or something with first place getting 1.4 mil! Think about that again, a $215 online poker tournament, first place was 1.4 million and a new lambo! Pokerstars is taking over the world. I just heard that the guy that came in 6th place and made $518k will be disqualified because it turned out that he was only 17 years old. ouch
&&This happened 3 weeks ago. It was raining in the morning, so I decided to drive closer to the Bart Station. I couldn’t find street parking near the Bart station so I drove around looking for parking. I drove for about 5 mins (which is a long time when you need to make a train at a specific time) and found this semi-small open spot. I said eff it, and parked there. When I got out, I saw that I was blocking the driveway by 15 inches at most. I actually thought to myself that, yes I’m blocking the drive way by 12 inches, but a car can still get in and out fa sho. So I get to bart, go to work, and everything is fine. After work, I walk back to where I parked my car, and it’s not there. I was 100% sure that this was the place where I parked. I immediately think my car is stolen. I run up and down the street to make sure it’s somewhere else by chance. I’m pretty much hysterical at this point, I don’t know what to do, my car, MY CAR IS STOLEN. I dropped probably 50 f-bombs. I’m thinking it couldn’t have gotten towed, no way. So, I call 911 and tell them that either my car was stolen or it got towed, then they transfer me to some other department. They asked for my license plate number, and of course I don’t know that shit. (I know it now, 5zke514)They then asked for my name and address that the car is registered under, then before I hear if it was towed or not, I lose service. WTF (at&t sucks), I have to call 911 again?
so I call 911 again, give my “car stolen or towed” schpielll?, get transferred, and blah blah blah, they finally tell me that my car was towed. Whew, I guess that was good news. So they give me the number to the place where my car is at. It’s fucking downtown near where I work. They told me it would cost $437 to get the car out, and there was an extra charge for 4-hour storage. LOL effff me. I wrote the most painful check I’ve ever had to write. I finally see my car, and there’s another white piece of paper on the window. It’s some sort of city ticket for another $90, cool bro. So, in the first month of living in San Francisco, I nearly paid an entire months’ rent just on parking tickets/fees. I’m over it now, I just pretended that I donated money to the beautiful city of San Francisco. And when that didn’t work, I just imagined I had a bad poker session. And when that didn’t help, I just vandalized the house whose drive way I was blocking. Just kidding. But seriously I did.
&&I don't know how i forget this, but every 2 years or so, i remember that one of my favorite movies is Nothing to Lose with Martin Lawrence and Tim Robbins. It is hilarious, I remember always going to Blockbuster with my mom and asking if I could rent it. I watched it on youtube and wow, still amazing.
&&last weekend was my mom's birthday. the four of us and derek's gf angela went to this japanese place and my parents both ended up doing a sake bomb. it was pretty hilarious. the next day i asked my mom how she liked the sake bomb, and she said "it made my face warm, but at least i didn't have a headache in the morning." lol her. she claims she wasn't much of a drinker in her prime, but it sure looked like she knew what she was doing
@gmizzz
Saturday, March 5, 2011
don't trust the police
Awesome how I drop Kris Humphries a day before the Nets trade away Troy Murphy and Derrick Favors. As soon as I heard about the Derrick Favors trade, I tried to claim him off waivers, with no such luck. So basically, going back to the bad relationship analogy, I dumped his ass, tried to get him back, but he wasn’t feeling it. Now I’m stuck with ant Rand’s underachieving ass.
One day I decided to run to Subway to eat dinner since its FebruANY! But anyway, I put on my running clothes and only brought my ipod, keys, and my subway gift card. It’s only like ¾ of a mile or so. But anyway, I get the usual, and hand the gift card to the employee. I thought she was going to tell me the balance of my gift card, but instead, she tells me that I owe $4 something since my gift card only had a dollar left. I whispered fuck, and told her that it’s all I had since I ran here, she let out a big sigh and said that she had to take back the footlong. So I told her if I leave my ipod here, can I eat the sandwich now, and run back to the house and get my credit card. She said yes, so I handed her my ipod and she handed me the goods. I then asked her “can I just listen to my ipod while I eat, and then give the ipod back before I start to run back home?” She said lolno you can’t do that. I said fine fuck you. Kinda random
I love that feeling when you buy a lottery ticket and just start to think what if. Well, PokerStars is having a huge tournament on sunday. $215 is the buy in, and the tournament has a guaranteed prize pool of $5 million, with a guarantee of $1 million going to first place. First place also gets a Lamborghini Gallardo LP560. It’s just fun to think about. If I’m available on Sunday and in a good mood, I think I’m going to play. Damn, what if I bink that damn thing, I’d be a Mirrrrionaireee!
I love the Superbad cop dance. When i'm by myself, and holding 2 drinks (of anything really), i do this dance from time to time.